Here’s the good news: a great relationship has nothing to do with fairy tales, wishful thinking, magic or fate–well, perhaps a bit of fate,  in the form of serendipity.   Really, it has to do with taking a good look at yourself, learning to look at your partner with compassion, and acquiring the tools needed to maintain the relationship.  Love is an essential element, but love alone is not enough.  It just isn’t.

Most of us didn’t have parents who modeled a good, healthy relationship style for us.  And for sure most of us didn’t have same-sex parents so we really didn’t have any clue at all about what a same-sex relationship was supposed to look like, or how to solve the unique problems that we might encounter with our partners.

It’s about learning to see the ways in which your own strengths can open your path to new opportunities and perspectives.  Knowing what your true strengths are can change your ability to make different choices than you would have made before you had the awareness of your strengths and your possibilities.

It’s about understanding how old scars, habits, unconscious mindsets, and certain beliefs can be ways in which you stand in your own way and prevent yourself from meeting your most heart-felt goals.  Once you understand how you could be standing in your own way, it is possible to move them aside, heal them, or let them go, so that your heart is free to claim what it wants most of all.

I’m here to tell you that you have the same chance of getting the kind of relationship you want as anyone does.

Think about that possibility.   Even if you feel somewhat discouraged, perhaps even a little cynical, because you’ve been in so much pain while trying to love each other.   It’s about being willing to step outside your comfort zone for a chance at a huge reward.

What would it be like if you had  a new, effective way of looking at your world and your journey into lasting love with the partner who is just right for you?  What would it be like if you no longer had to struggle with the frustration, disappointment, loneliness and self-denial that comes from trying to be in a relationship that isn’t working the way you need it to?

What if you knew what you wanted, what to do to get it, and the way ahead was clear?  What would it be like to know that the relationship you’ve wanted more than anything was within reach?  Would you be excited?  Interested?  Engaged and motivated?  Happy? Confident?  What would it feel like if you had someone to share it all with you? What would it feel like if you and your current partner found the joy and love again that you had when you first met?

Imagine–Someone to laugh with, for no reason other than a moment of shared understanding or silliness.  Someone who appreciates quirks and who would never be embarrassed by something quirky you do.  Someone who adores you, everything about you–simply because it’s you, and she is someone you can adore just as much in return.

Someone who will go to the dentist with you, without hesitation or complaint, just because she knows going  freaks you out.

Someone who doesn’t mind if your cat sleeps on the bed any more than you mind that she washes her beloved car more often than she washes the dishes.

Someone who you know will put you and your needs first, just as she knows that she can count on you for the same thing.

You get the picture.  In fact, you might have had some of this lovely togetherness in the early part  of your relationship, when you both were still “in love.”  But it probably faded with the hormones–or maybe you realized you really did love each other unconditionally–as sisters, or best friends, but not lovers.

How do I know all this is possible?  Because I’ve found my ultimate love relationship  and I’ve learned how to make it work ongoing.  I know first-hand that it is absolutely possible to have the kind of relationship you want–satisfying emotionally and  physically, with soul-deep intimacy, unconditional acceptance, trust, ease, compatibility, and fun.  Please, let’s not forget fun!

I’m here, right now, to tell you that the possibility is yours if you want it.  I didn’t start out knowing all the answers.  I spent a long time learning how to have the relationship of my dreams.  Sometimes, I learned my lessons the hard way.  But because I’ve gone down the path ahead of you, I can save you having to go through all of the trial and error I did.  I can use my experience and training to show you how to get there from here.

On this site you will  find  info about the Coaching and Coaching Program services I offer that are specifically designed to help you reach your relationship goals.  These are services that are available to you no matter where you are, even outside the USA.  Call or text me at 415-710-6615, or email me at leahcochrane2@gmail.com or leah@leahcochrane.com.

If you live in California, I can also offer Relationship Counseling via phone, FaceTime, or a secure electronic meeting protocol such as Zoom.  I am a  San Francisco Bay Area Counselor and Psychotherapist, available  if you live nearby, to meet in person at my Hyde St. office. Call or text me to discuss your needs at 415-710-6615.

To get you started, here is my first offering for you.  It is food for thought, and the very beginning of the remarkable journey that is in front of you should you decide you want it.  I truly hope you will choose to take that journey with me so that you , too, can be ready and able for the relationship of your dreams and the love of your life.

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Three Pillars of Relationship Truth.

Below you will find 3 of the Truth Pillars.  This is the kind of wisdom you will need to begin building the foundation of a better relationship.  In fact, Truth Pillars are foundational truths for every kind of relationship in your life.  They will serve you throughout your life whether you are single or coupled.  They are my gift to you:

Truth pillar #1:  What you bring to the table will absolutely determine a) the kind of person you will attract if you are single, or b) inspire your partner in a new way if you are coupled.  A satisfying, vital, intimate  relationship is successfully created only when two people  expect the best from themselves and each other.

Truth pillar #2:  Nothing worth having can be gained from within your comfort zone. Let me say that again: nothing worth having can be gained from within your comfort zone.  That means you must step out of your comfort zone to look at your true feelings about worthiness, deserving, perfectionism, hope for the future, or whatever else your limiting beliefs may be, and then  change them so that you can stop standing in your own way.

Truth pillar #3: The past is gone and the future isn’t here yet–all you have is right now.  Do not sacrifice an opportunity to connect deeply with your true love because scars from past emotional wounds have made you wary.  If you miss such opportunities because you want to play it safe, it will keep you from creating the relationship you long for.  You have to find your courage and take the leap.  The truth is, lovers leap to meet the love they seek.  

And here’s another bit of good news.  Creating a better relationship in your life is not a long journey.   Within months–not years–you can have an entirely new approach to an intimate relationship, or an entirely different perspective on  the relationship you really want–different, and better, than any you’ve had in the past.

If you’d like to talk about your journey into the life and love you really want, give me a call or a text at 415-710-6615.  (If you call I might be in session, so be sure to leave your name and number so I can call you back which I will do within one business day or sooner.)

We can chat, or if you like, we can set up your FREE “Relationship Assessment Session” done via phone or What’s App if you are outside the USA.

The Relationship Assessment session really is free and there is absolutely no obligation.  So jump on the phone and text or call me at (415) 710-6615 or use the scheduler on this site.  I’m in the Pacific time zone, west coast. If you’re outside the US, use What’s App to text me or email me  at leahcochranelmft@gmail.com or leah@leahcochrane.com 

,We may decide to work together or we may not, but either way, you will come away from your FREE session with an expert, personalized strategy to get you started toward creating  the kind of relationship you really want!

 True love is an aspiration that excludes no one.

You will find warm acceptance and awareness from me whether you are Lesbian, Queer, Dyke, Gay Woman, Bi, Hetero, Cis, Trans,  Non-binary Identified, Kinky, or Poly (and sometimes even you men, Gay or Allies).  I welcome all who are looking for a lasting, meaningful love relationship that works!

 call or text 415-710-6615

 I’m a long-time San Francisco Bay Area Counselor and Psychotherapist.  I’m an RCI-trained  Relationship Coach and a California licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, #40362.  For more information about my approach, expertise & training, call me at 415-710-6615 or see the “About” page in this website.